Major ways parents can maintain a good relationship with their kids Part 2

Welcome to the concluding part of the Major ways parents can maintain a good relationship with their kids. If you miss the part one, do catch up from here . The next point is :

Avoid constant fault findings and having unrealistic expectations

                       

Unrealistic expectations can cause a child to become frustrated, particularly if he or she only feels loved if certain doctrines are met. Well-to-do parents necessitate high standards of conduct of their children, while moderate or less successful parents look up to their children to become billionaires overnight so as to change and improve positively their financial standard of living. Parents shouldn’t try to force their children into becoming what they themselves wished for themselves, which they themselves couldn’t achieve and therefore want their children to become such person whether the child likes it or not. Most children are living their parent’s dreams instead of their own, thereby making them confused personalities.

Some parents crush their children’s self-esteem, talents, dreams and confidence by pressuring them to achieve beyond their natural ability in academics, music or sports. Odd what deep and permanent injury a parent could cause a child. Each child is a different and unique individual who should be guided to fulfil their own dreams and aspirations not obligated to accomplish the unfulfilled dreams of their parents.

Parents should encourage their children to do their best, no child should ever be punished or made to feel unloved because he or she is not strong enough, fast enough or smart enough. The greatest atrocity of all is to indoctrinate your children into a system that does not value their creative expression, nor encourage their unique abilities. Even if the child fails, encourage that child not to quit or get discouraged. Encourage him or her to try again instead of worsening the entire situation by screaming, harsh words or comparing to the other classmates. The greatest killer on earth is not cancer but hopelessness and discouragement.

Focus on learning what to expect from your child given his or her age level. Children should always feel that they have their parents’ unconditional love in all circumstances. If a parent brings up every fault a child has, it can be very discouraging. Most parents criticize their children everyday more than they ever praise them. Donald A. Laird said, “Abilities wither under fault-finding, blossom under encouragement.” Focus on correcting the most harmful faults and behaviours at first and later deal with the smaller ones. Be sure that you balance your correction with abundant praise for what your child is doing correctly, besides we all respond far more positively to encouragement than criticism.

Always apologize when you are at fault and say Thank you

 

Many parents find it very difficult to apologize to their kids even when it is them who it is at a slip-up. Saying the words, ‘I am sorry’ won’t kill you. When you accuse you child falsely and finally find out the truth, apologize instead of trying to justify your accusation. It will surprise you how much your apology will go a long way to soothe the feathers that have been ruffled and even ensure a closer relationship with your kid. Saying thank you is also not an obligation but makes you courteous and matured. Don’t think of your child as a lower substitute to be trampled upon. If you want a better relationship with you teenager, you should treat them as a person, not like your property.

Don’t be stubborn, saying this is the way it has been done and this is the way it will always be. Just as we try to keep up more sophisticated gadgets it is still necessary to keep up with your children so that you can help your adolescent in their confused state because they believe that they are matured and do not need their parents but in the actually sense they really do need them. Still lay down the law and remind them what the rules are because boundaries are very important when parenting adolescence.

What are the other ways to maintain a good and health relationship with your kids? please drop them in the comment section.

Major ways parents can maintain a good relationship with their kids

Sequel to yesterday's blog on MAINTAINING A GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR KIDS , Today we would be talking about the Major ways parents can maintain a good relationship with their kids.

Stop humiliating them

This can be done by scolding them in front of others, making fun of them or discussing their weaknesses with others while they are present. Some parents will argue with this point and say that as parents, they have the mandate to talk to their children in whatever way they deem fit. They must note that these children are various individuals with their own thought process. Most of the reprimands that parents melt out to their kids in public are mostly never adhered to. The replies given to this from the children are anger, continued disobedience and sometimes outright rudeness.

Would you like your boss to reprimand you in front of other employees? What if he made fun of an idea or comment that you made, or talked negatively about you with other employees? You would probably feel hurt, humiliated and angry. Similarly, your child will likely be hurt and angry if you humiliate him or her in these ways.

Avoid comparing them to others and practicing favouritism.

It is very easy for a parent to compare one child to another or to have a favoured child. Parents may mistakenly think that by evaluating the child against his or her siblings or other children, the misbehaving child will be encouraged to straighten up. However, this can actually cause lifelong harsh feelings of inferiority in a child who is being negatively compared or not favoured, and can ultimately cause him or her to become frustrated and dangerously resentful. You are not encouraging the child with comparison or favouritism, instead you are making the child more hardened not only to you but also to the person you are constantly comparing him or her to and this can lead to a bad addiction like drugs to take the edge off or worst suicide if the child feels he or she isn’t good enough. Each child is unique and should be loved equally as different individuals.

Don’t be a hypocrite

                


As children grow older they begin watching their parents’ actions more closely. Your child may become confused and angry with you if you do the same things that you have corrected him or her for doing. For example, if you punished your child for using vile language against someone and then later mention that you just insulted your neighbour across the street with vile words; your child may begin to think of you as a hypocrite. We should remember what Jim Henson said, “The attitude that you have as a parent is what your kids will learn from, more than what you tell them. They don’t remember what you try to teach them. They remember what you are.”

Equally some parents correct their child for stealing when they themselves often do so. Your son or daughter may view you as a charlatan if you act a certain way in public and a different way in private. Every parent should remember that one day the child will follow his example instead of his advice. In every area of your life always ask yourself, “Am I practising what I am teaching?” 

The list in not exhaustive, but Watch out for the concluding part this evening.