Nigerian child: You called for me. {the adolescent stands on shaky legs, mind rampaging through the day, for an unknown misdeed.}
Nigerian parent: {clears throat nervously} Mmm, you are going to university tomorrow.
Nigerian child: {Eyes blinks in confusion} Yes.
Nigerian parent: {Emits low cough again.} Eh. I just want to tell you that if any boy calls you, don’t answer him.
An unearthly silence as both stare at each other.
Nigerian child: What? Calls me? How?
Nigerian parent: You know.{gestures in desperation, wanting off the subject matter.} If a man calls you, just go the opposite direction. Spit on him if possible. They just want to ruin you life.
Understanding dawns on the teenager. Shifting legs, slowing against the tiled floor, the child smirks. Mischievously.
Nigerian child: okay.
Nigerian parent: You are a bright child. You have always been a good girl. Continue to be a good girl even in the university. Don’t bring shame to the family. Don’t go to bed with any man.
Nigerian child: {Eyes glinting with mischief, the child nods} Go to bed as in how?
Nigerian parent: {Swallows audibly}. Sleep on the same bed.
Nigerian child: {Eyes widen in false shock}. So, if I sleep beside a man on the bed, I will get pregnant?”
Nigerian parent: {Casts eyes away} Yes. Even if he hugs you. Especially, {clears clogged throat again} -if he puts his thing inside you.
Nigerian child: What thing? Inside where?
Nigerian parent: (Puffs out air from nostril in frustration} That thing….
Nigerian child: I don’t understand. What thing?
Nigerian parent: Don’t let him touch your panties. Don’t even let him see your pant.
Nigerian child: {nods soberly} Why will he want to see my pant?
Nigerian parent: (Sweating profusely). I just told you. Just don’t come back home pregnant. The conversation is over. Go and put beans on fire.
(The end.)
Not apt, but relative.
A Nigerian child's sexual education fall within this scope. Well, that’s if they are lucky enough to get one. I got mine from Mills and Boons, Harlequin Romance, Batam books and then Zebra Historical Novels.
Our children live in a highly sexualized society where they are exposed to sexual language, images, and behaviours before they are developmentally prepared to handle them.
Research has shown that 90 percent of children today first learn about sex through viewing pornography. Other research reveals that a child’s first exposure to porn happens around nine years old. And this leads to deeply embedded ideas about sex that negatively distort a child, well into their adult years. Lets not even forget about the onslaught of sexual predators roaming the street under the cloak of friends, neighbours or relatives.
Discard the shame or awkwardness about approaching the subject with the children. Because when given so little/ less valid information about such a tantalizing subject, where’s a curious child to turn?
To their phone {parental control doesn’t always work}. Or their friends. Or a probably depraved friend or family relative who might want to show tell in avid details.
It’s up to parents to turn the tide. As a parent, you are the one who helps your child define and understand their sexuality. Be the one they come to when they have questions about sex even though its awkward.
From age three, discuss the names of the parts of the body with your kid.
From age five, talk about conception, and childbirth.
From ages eight, talk about puberty, menstrual circle, pornography, sexual abuse and sexual intercourse, including boundaries.
From ages eleven, have more dialogue about hormones and love, dating, and more complex questions about sexuality.
Children need to know about sex, this way, they can make decisions that are right for them when the time comes. And by discussing the right topics at the right ages, you’re setting your child up to be empowered.
