Major ways parents can maintain a good relationship with their kids Part 2

Welcome to the concluding part of the Major ways parents can maintain a good relationship with their kids. If you miss the part one, do catch up from here . The next point is :

Avoid constant fault findings and having unrealistic expectations

                       

Unrealistic expectations can cause a child to become frustrated, particularly if he or she only feels loved if certain doctrines are met. Well-to-do parents necessitate high standards of conduct of their children, while moderate or less successful parents look up to their children to become billionaires overnight so as to change and improve positively their financial standard of living. Parents shouldn’t try to force their children into becoming what they themselves wished for themselves, which they themselves couldn’t achieve and therefore want their children to become such person whether the child likes it or not. Most children are living their parent’s dreams instead of their own, thereby making them confused personalities.

Some parents crush their children’s self-esteem, talents, dreams and confidence by pressuring them to achieve beyond their natural ability in academics, music or sports. Odd what deep and permanent injury a parent could cause a child. Each child is a different and unique individual who should be guided to fulfil their own dreams and aspirations not obligated to accomplish the unfulfilled dreams of their parents.

Parents should encourage their children to do their best, no child should ever be punished or made to feel unloved because he or she is not strong enough, fast enough or smart enough. The greatest atrocity of all is to indoctrinate your children into a system that does not value their creative expression, nor encourage their unique abilities. Even if the child fails, encourage that child not to quit or get discouraged. Encourage him or her to try again instead of worsening the entire situation by screaming, harsh words or comparing to the other classmates. The greatest killer on earth is not cancer but hopelessness and discouragement.

Focus on learning what to expect from your child given his or her age level. Children should always feel that they have their parents’ unconditional love in all circumstances. If a parent brings up every fault a child has, it can be very discouraging. Most parents criticize their children everyday more than they ever praise them. Donald A. Laird said, “Abilities wither under fault-finding, blossom under encouragement.” Focus on correcting the most harmful faults and behaviours at first and later deal with the smaller ones. Be sure that you balance your correction with abundant praise for what your child is doing correctly, besides we all respond far more positively to encouragement than criticism.

Always apologize when you are at fault and say Thank you

 

Many parents find it very difficult to apologize to their kids even when it is them who it is at a slip-up. Saying the words, ‘I am sorry’ won’t kill you. When you accuse you child falsely and finally find out the truth, apologize instead of trying to justify your accusation. It will surprise you how much your apology will go a long way to soothe the feathers that have been ruffled and even ensure a closer relationship with your kid. Saying thank you is also not an obligation but makes you courteous and matured. Don’t think of your child as a lower substitute to be trampled upon. If you want a better relationship with you teenager, you should treat them as a person, not like your property.

Don’t be stubborn, saying this is the way it has been done and this is the way it will always be. Just as we try to keep up more sophisticated gadgets it is still necessary to keep up with your children so that you can help your adolescent in their confused state because they believe that they are matured and do not need their parents but in the actually sense they really do need them. Still lay down the law and remind them what the rules are because boundaries are very important when parenting adolescence.

What are the other ways to maintain a good and health relationship with your kids? please drop them in the comment section.

Major ways parents can maintain a good relationship with their kids

Sequel to yesterday's blog on MAINTAINING A GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR KIDS , Today we would be talking about the Major ways parents can maintain a good relationship with their kids.

Stop humiliating them

This can be done by scolding them in front of others, making fun of them or discussing their weaknesses with others while they are present. Some parents will argue with this point and say that as parents, they have the mandate to talk to their children in whatever way they deem fit. They must note that these children are various individuals with their own thought process. Most of the reprimands that parents melt out to their kids in public are mostly never adhered to. The replies given to this from the children are anger, continued disobedience and sometimes outright rudeness.

Would you like your boss to reprimand you in front of other employees? What if he made fun of an idea or comment that you made, or talked negatively about you with other employees? You would probably feel hurt, humiliated and angry. Similarly, your child will likely be hurt and angry if you humiliate him or her in these ways.

Avoid comparing them to others and practicing favouritism.

It is very easy for a parent to compare one child to another or to have a favoured child. Parents may mistakenly think that by evaluating the child against his or her siblings or other children, the misbehaving child will be encouraged to straighten up. However, this can actually cause lifelong harsh feelings of inferiority in a child who is being negatively compared or not favoured, and can ultimately cause him or her to become frustrated and dangerously resentful. You are not encouraging the child with comparison or favouritism, instead you are making the child more hardened not only to you but also to the person you are constantly comparing him or her to and this can lead to a bad addiction like drugs to take the edge off or worst suicide if the child feels he or she isn’t good enough. Each child is unique and should be loved equally as different individuals.

Don’t be a hypocrite

                


As children grow older they begin watching their parents’ actions more closely. Your child may become confused and angry with you if you do the same things that you have corrected him or her for doing. For example, if you punished your child for using vile language against someone and then later mention that you just insulted your neighbour across the street with vile words; your child may begin to think of you as a hypocrite. We should remember what Jim Henson said, “The attitude that you have as a parent is what your kids will learn from, more than what you tell them. They don’t remember what you try to teach them. They remember what you are.”

Equally some parents correct their child for stealing when they themselves often do so. Your son or daughter may view you as a charlatan if you act a certain way in public and a different way in private. Every parent should remember that one day the child will follow his example instead of his advice. In every area of your life always ask yourself, “Am I practising what I am teaching?” 

The list in not exhaustive, but Watch out for the concluding part this evening. 

Fruits you should eat and fruits you shouldn’t eat

Who doesn’t love fruits? I sure do. It’s delicious, sweet and good for you. But unfortunately, not all fruits have the same health benefits. With some fruits, the drawbacks are actually worse than the benefits - sad right?

Just as we are choosy with our food, we also need to be conscious of the type of fruits we digest. When eating fruits, you should be looking for fruits high in fibre, vitamins and low in calories and sugar.

If you are thinking of which fruits to include to your daily diet, and which to indulge in, it is important to the facts so you can make the best and healthy choice for your body.

EAT Pineapple

According to a study by Biotechnology Research International, pineapple is rich in vitamin C and manganese; with an enzyme called Bromelain which helps absorb antibiotics, stops diarrhoea, fights diabetes, heart disease and cancer. It also shortens the healing time after surgery and used for treating inflammation and sport injuries. So if you haven’t already started eating this fruit, it is important for you to add it to your daily menu. It can be made into a smoothie, eaten raw as a snack, used as salad toppings or splayed on your oatmeal.

EAT Watermelon

This fruit is not only very delicious but keeps you hydrated as it is ninety two (92) percent water. It boasts numerous other health benefit including lowering blood pressure, and helping with muscles soreness. Watermelon contains vitamin C, potassium, copper, vitamin A and vitamin B5.

A high level of citrulline found in the white part of the watermelon rind. And in the human body, citrulline turns into amino acid arginine, which helps the reproductive system as well as prevents heart disease.

EAT Apples 

Apples are good for weight loss as they contain a high percentage of water and also high in fibre; four (4) grams in a medium size apple.

Fascinatingly enough, apple flesh also contain polyphenols, a type of antioxidants that have been shown to reduce the risk of stroke and heart disease. However, this polyphenols are found in red apple skin; so you can skip the green ones.

EAT Grapefruit

You would be amazed at the quantity and quality of nutrients found in this fruit. Grapefruit filled with vitamin C, a small amount of protein, vitamin A, Manganese, Thiamine, Folate and magnesium. Despite it’s acidic and sour taste you can enjoy eating then by sprinkling them with honey and a bit of salt

EAT Avocado

According to a recent study, an avocado contains high amounts of Vitamin E, vitamins B6 and D, Potassium, Iron and most importantly; monounsaturated fat which helps lower your cholesterol.

Apart from this, the Potassium in avocado helps manage blood pressure and fatigue.

In addition, it’s also high in omega-3 fatty acids which helps reduce the risk of heart disease.

EAT Lemons

A single lemon gives you one hundred and thirty nine (139) percent of your daily vitamin C. LiveScience, says that lemon is low-calorie, fat-free, and full of folic acid that has been shown to help protect against stroke and improve cardiovascular health.

DON’T EAT Bananas

Why the hell not?! This is because it contain mostly carbs. In fact ninety three (93) percent of their calories come from carbohydrates and contain up to sixteen (16) percent of sugar.

Furthermore the healthy starch in unripe bananas turn to sugar as a banana ripens. So just imagine the quantity of sugar you are loading your bloodstream with. (Bye bye, banana smoothie!).

DON’T EAT Mangoes

Like bananas, they also have a larger percentage of sugar and that’s why they taste so sweet. Research has shown that one full sized mango contains one hundred (100) calories and twenty three (23) grams of sugar.

Ouch! But if you cant bear to live without them, eat them sparingly.

DON’T EAT Coconut

Coconuts are so in vogue right now (I would know because I use them almost everyday, in my cooking), but they aren’t as healthy as people want to think. (I’m taking a huge step back from them).

Research has shown that a full sized coconut contains a whopping two hundred and eighty three (283) calories, two hundred and twenty four (224) of which are from fat. This makes it one of the fattiest food around. (Now I understand the issue with my unyielding puffy stomach and waistline).

DON’T EAT Oranges

Why!!! According to the university of Rochester Medical Centre, oranges are so acidic, that they can do some serious damage to your teeth. Yuck! Affiliated dentists lists oranges as being among the worst food for your teeth and they recommend that if you have to drink orange juice, you should use a straw to keep your teeth safe.

what are your opinions, oya comment them below.

Maintaining a good relationship with your kids

The relationship between parents and their teenagers keep deteriorating daily particularly in this present global generation. It is very important for parents to maintain a very good, solid and close relationship with their teenagers. Most teenagers now especially from the age of thirteen to seventeen already feel independent and want to start making decisions by themselves and don’t want their parents tailor guiding them as thought they were still little kids. 

However, it is important to still monitor your children because this is their critical stage of life. Whatever they get accustomed to at that point becomes very difficult to leave or unattached from latter on in life. The teenage age is not the period where a parent becomes overly stern or bossy with your child because at that age, you can either bring them close to you, become best of friends or push them so far away becoming almost like strangers. 

Parents need to be hard, yet soft; firm yet malleable. Above all parents should be the closest of friends to their children, owing to the fact that the outside world is completely and almost corrupt, it will be beneficial to the parents to be much closer to their kids so as to be able to guide and not force them in the right steps. Each child is unique with his or her own vision. Times are changing and what could be obtained in the olden days as morals then has been flushed down the toilet in this modern age. 

Teenagers do possibly get very frustrated that they cannot “test their wings.” Parents need to allow their teens more independence by gradually “letting the rope out.” Most parents want to rule and dominate each process of their child growth, thinking they are helping the child but alas you are slowly, steadily and unconsciously destroying the child self esteem and independence. If a young plant is always crowed by the parent matured plants, it can’t germinate properly. It will die from stagnation, miniature nutrient, and congestion. 

Tomorrow, we will consider ways in which parents can maintain a good relationship with their kids 

Stay tuned

Effective Parenting - Part II

Welcome back to the part two of Effective Parenting. If you miss the part 1 of Effective Parenting, click here . 

Don’t be stagnant. Do not be taken unawares. Just as we make changes in our daily lives and try to keep up with changes such as new and more sophisticated mobile phones, electronic gadgets: washing machines, vacuum cleaners, ovens, etc; it’s still necessary to keep up with the development of your children so that you can help your adolescent in their confused state.

They believe they are matured and do not need their parents counsel but in the actually sense they really do need them. Still lay down the law and remind them what the rules are because boundaries are very important when parenting adolescent.

 In this global age, parents need to be very observant, keep abreast of current things so as not to be swept aside. Be digital instead of being old school to avoid getting old in the head.

It should be noted that even with the various ways parents or relevant authorities are looking for ways to curb their excesses, adolescents are creating the next available route of diversion.

This is not to say that the old wise proverb is untrue or that people should not listen to the knowledge, wisdom and directives of the older generation. But it doesn’t hold true in every circumstances. However, it must be noted that times and things are changing and if we want to develop, we must develop and evolve.

I remember the first time I heard the song, “chop my money” by P-Square, was from my six-year-old niece. She came home from school, saying she learnt the lyrics in school and then proceeded to show me the dance steps.

Words you do not expect are what you will hear from your adolescent’s mouth. That is why parents need to be very careful and try to be very open-minded so as not to be left behind and be termed old school by their children.

Your child should be able to ask you any question. This is not the age when a parent will try to be conservative or secretive about certain things the child is expected to know because it would be astonishing that the certain things you think the child do not know; the kid is already aware of.

Don’t always assume that you know everything because your child would shock you one day with his question or behavior. Life is an everyday learning process. It is said that the day you stop learning is the day you die. Don’t just sit and expect that your child is going to practice the same route of life. If you really don’t want your child to be a failure, then kit up and get prepared.

Healthy African Dinner Menu - EPISODE 1

Looking for what to make for dinner? Here is a list of healthy African dishes for dinner.

  Potatoes porridge and mashed beans, served with veggie seafood sauce

  Vegetarian pasta

  Beans and roasted plantain, served with lettuce and veggie fish sauce

  Mashed beans and fried plantain, served with fish sauce

  Irish and sweet potatoes porridge

  White beans and corn cooked in coconut milk, served with peppered fried fish stew

  White rice, served with mushroom chicken soup

What’s your own advisable meal for a healthy dinner?

WORK IDEAS FOR ADOLESCENTS

This might come as a shock to teenagers who would probably get to thinking; ‘why do I have to work? When my parents are providing all my needs? Besides it is their sole responsibility!’ And then to the teenagers who might entertain the idea; “what type of job could I get when the graduates can’t even secure jobs?” 

Yet it is quite compulsory for you to understand the essence of self-finance even at a tender age. We can term it entrepreneurship empowerment or skill acquisition/development, a positive addition to your former education. 

Instead of wasting precious time tweeting, Facebooking, hanging out with friends discussing irrelevant topics or getting a bad eye sight from staring at the screen of your mobile phone or laptop. 

12-year-old Nigerian student, Tomisin Ogunnubi built an impressive Android mobile tracking App, MY LOCATOR - that can help lost kids find their way home. 

David Beckham who was one of the highest paid footballer, made his son, Brooklyn at the early age of fourteen (14) work at a French café from Friday evening to Sunday evening, so he could learn the value of making money and not become over pampered or too dependent. 

You can convince your parents that this will help you to be a little self- sufficient. This will assist at the university or college level so you don’t bug the parents with requests all the time. 

You can develop a skill, getting ideas on how to establish a business and end up maximizing the effort. This can become a source of income when older instead of the hunt for white collar jobs after tertiary education. 

Yet I must enforce the important of education in this jet age generation so that you don’t get carried away with the finance gained. With the inclusion of formal education, you can earn way more, becoming a respected boss. 

In today’s job market, it can be hard for a teenager to secure a job. Nevertheless, if you’re willing to work, you can find something that’s worth your time with these job ideas. While you won’t get rich doing this, to me, it seems like a great way to make some money 

1. Start a Tutoring Business or Holiday Coaching 

Tutoring services are in demand by parents of students who do not understand some of the essential school subjects. The charges for tutoring may be difficult to calculate at first, but if you are successful and the child shows a significant improvement, then you may be able to negotiate a higher amount. Start at N500 per hour and work your way up from there. I know of a teenager who gathered around some primary school kids and taught them, during the holidays. That is a source of income and enlightenment for herself in public speaking.

2. Typing Service

Teenagers who have good typing skills can offer their services to business owners who do not type well or would rather have someone else type for them. This can also help them become more computer literate. Try charging per word or page!

3. Turn your Craft into Cash

If you’re a skillful teenager, you might consider making crafts and selling them on sites like OLX, at shops or among your peers - quilts, clothing, fishing, hair, graphic design, woodwork, beads, baked goods, Christmas bits and pieces – you name it! If you can create it, you can undoubtedly sell it.

4. Hand Out Flyers for Businesses 

Local businesses sometimes offer money to anyone who is willing to hand out flyers while canvassing large areas where people gather. Yet be very careful where you collect the flyers and where you distribute them. Be conscious of the neighbourhood and be sure of the person who operate the local business to avoid falling into danger – kidnappers or rituals money makers. 

5. Get Outside And Ask For Work! 

Jobs won’t come to your home to look for you. Many homeowners are willing to pay teenagers to perform menial labour like; cleaning Houses, clothes washing or other House Chores. With housecleaning, teenagers can easily earn extra money on a regular basis. When performing a specialized cleaning project, the homeowner may wish to get rid of some unwanted items that are still functional and/or have value and the teenager can easily sell them. I actually performed this chore during my teenager age for a cousin of mine and earned quite a lot. 

6. Work At School Celebrations Or Events. 

You might be able to find work at your own school if they’re hosting an event. Check with the school office to see if they’re hiring students to work at the school events; there you can even showcase your skill. Even at a wedding ceremony, birthday, political party’s campaign, or any social event a teen can easily get a job.

Effective Parenting - Part 1

There is a popular favourite saying of parents whenever their kids attempt to play some certain funny pranks. The saying goes thus; “what you think you can see from the top of a tree, we; that is the parents, can see it sitting down.” it is also said in pidgin; “The thing wen old man they see, even if small pikin climb ladder, he no go see am”.

Meaning that the parents don’t need to stress themselves because whatever tricks the child has up his or her sleeve, the parent(s) already know without any need to hassle themselves. The assumption is that since they’d obviously been children before, they know whatever the child will be intuited to do.

However, some parents think that they know it all and not all the predictions are right. Besides there are so many things that the teenagers of nowadays are cognizant of that their parents do not know or think that they don’t know. Especially with the advent of technology and social media, it’s very difficult and almost impossible to restrain the information that the teenagers are exposed to on a daily basis.

Presently, we have virtually thousands of social media networks, like the; Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr., Instagram, VK, Flickr, MySpace, meetup, classmates, match.com, Plentyoffish, Zoosk, okcupid, eHarmony, ChristianMingle, OurTime, Blackpeoplemeet, Speed Date, Chemistry.com, amidst many others.

This social networks weren’t live during the latter generation. Most of these social networks have some very corrupt and polluted information that can really affect negatively the mind of a child.

I think it can be agreed that the saying should be restructured and changed to “what a child think he sees while climbing on a tree, the parents will climb with him, or ascend higher, so you can properly observe what your child is up to”.

The strength of teenagers or youth cannot surpass the experience of age. However, experience doesn’t mean all knowing. It just means you have a better handle on situations and problems when younger people are falling apart. However, with the newer innovations and the world becoming a global village; what was obtainable in the olden days, has been flushed down the toilet of this modern age.

Parents need to know that seeing while sitting down is no longer valuable especially with the children of this era, teenage age; especially can be ascribed as where the adolescence tends to be rebellious and want to hang out with peers who are likely to influence them negatively.

In this modern society, parenting teenagers is a very serious warfare. In times past, of the 18^th and 19^th century, teenagers dressing now would be classified as aliens from other planets, who is a stranger by the people who lived then.

Even their new slogans, like, “Hanging out”, “Mumsi”, “Popsi”, “Chillin out”, “Sup” and many others, defer definitions to the normal human understanding. Most of our ancestors would have considered the languages, insulting or some of the slogans as for another meaning entirely than it was supposed to be.

This is the period of shock, where you will expect some outrageous suggestions and questions and to have decided beforehand how you are going to deal with them. And the only way you will be able to deal with such situations is when you are prepared. And you can only be prepared if you keep up to date with situations and happenings.

This is not over yet, there is a concluding part of Effective Parenting. Stay Tuned.

Beauty Tips About Fingernails and Toe Nails

Fingernails and toes may seem minimal in the list of things to be conscious about in our beauty care regime but when you meet somebody and shake hands or discuss something with your hands over the table, the people notice your hands and fingernails. So take care of your nails with the following beauty tips. Guys don’t think you are left out. You too need to have your nails cared for.

· Never bite your fingernails. This is not only unhygienic but it leaves your nails misshaped and curved. 

· Use a nail file properly. Don’t do a sawing motion on your nails. Sawing motion on your nails create tears on your nails and skin. The proper way is to file in the same direction. 

· While trimming your nails, don’t try to clip the nail in one cut. Use multiple cuts till the nail is trimmed to get a proper shape. 

· Don’t keep too long nails. You will look like Dracula’s ancient cousin. 

· Keep your nails clean and of the same length 

· Never! Please! Cut your nails with a razor blade or God Forbid! Your teeth! The outcome is not something to behold 

· Neutral or light colored polish is the best. 

· Avoid biting your fingernails. If it is a supposed reflex action or thinking methodology, stop it. Not only does it give your nails a scary look, it makes you look like a suckling toddler. 

· Do not leave chipped nail polish to wear off its own, there is reason why they sell nail polish remover.

· Do not do artificial nails they make you look like a drag queen, simple is sexy. 

20 Things Women Should Never Do

A Friend

These are the 20 things women or ladies should never do. Hope you find it interesting and noteworthy.

1. Do not shave off your eyebrows only to redraw with a pencil………. It makes no sense.
2. Do not put on too much make up, you will end up looking like you came out of a makeup factory.
3. Do not wear sleeveless/tank tops, without shaving your armpit or without a bra underneath.
4. Do not leave chipped nail polish to wear off its own, there is reason why they sell nail polish remover.
5. If you can’t afford a good quality weave, don’t bother.
6. Do not do artificial nails they make you look like a drag queen, simple is sexy.
7. See-through leggings or a top used as a dress when you are out in the public is a hell-to-the-NO.
8. Never do things for a man with the hope of getting something in return, expectation is dangerous, do it simply because you want to.
9. Never contradict what your man says in public.
10. Never stalk the man that left you for the other woman.
11. Do not share your best friend’s personal life with every Tom, Dick and Harry.
12. Women should never act on distress in relationships, like checking your man’s phone, nagging him to death, and acting like a paranoid freak, you will simply release him to someone else by doing so.
13. Never dish out your entire family drama on a first date. The guy just wants to know about you.
14. Stop obsessing over your body, it’s good to be healthy and work out, but let’s leave it at that.
15. Never over-accessorize, stop looking like a decorated Christmas tree.
16. Never leave home without lip gloss, your phone and most especially your dignity. 
17. Never leave your used sanitary towel in the toilet for the next person to see. Women PLEASE!
18. Never wear high heels if you can’t do the Naomi Campbell walk, you will look a drunken grasshopper.
19. Never wear short skirts and low-cut tops when off to an interview. You will create the wrong impression.
20. And finally, never wish to be like any other woman, there are others out there envying you for who you are.

So what do you think? Kindly drop your comments below.

A Good Diet

A bowl of vegetable salad for your morning diet:

• Strips of cucumber
• An orange
• Two firm tomatoes
• Lettuce
• Olives

What better way to start the day than with a healthy supplements of fresh fruits, that nourishes and heals the body.

With this combo, you are good to delve into the day, strong and thriving.
This fruits can also be taken as dinner.

Replenishes the skin and notable organs of the body.

Have I told you the benefits of cucumber, lettuce and olives again?

Olives are high in vitamin E and other powerful antioxidants. Studies show that they are good for the heart, and may protect against osteoporosis and cancer.

Cucumber are low in calories; contains antioxidants; promotes hydration; aids in weight loss; lowers blood sugar and are high in vitamin B-5; which has been used to treat acne.

Lettuce provides calcium, potassium, vitamin C and folate.

They are indeed tremendous and beneficial. It supports a healthy skin; smoothing it, from the inside out.