Lesson Learnt

Job seekers - when you finally get that job, insist on a contract or certified letter of employment before you commence. Some employers are very trickish. Without a letter of employment, they can come up and change their terms at any time.
She was excited about a recent job offer and ignored the fact there was no letter of appointment. Five of them where hired and the man rose up at d end of the month and claimed they didn't meet the required target he notified them about on the third week. So salary won't be paid but might start the next month And they have to pull events that will cover their salaries.
Funny enough he hired them as managers, then he switched the role to marketing and then he switched back to event planners/sales representatives and then back to marketing.
And now they are all back on job market and he is assuredly set to hire again.
Please be careful of this type of employers

kids and Television

A modest sitting room. The ceiling fan is twirling,.

Nigerian parent sits on one of the brown sofas, legs stretched out on the table, watching a drama show on the television.

{One of the adjoining door opens}

Turns gaze away from the blaring of the television. Watches the two children approach. Picks up the remote to reduce the volume of the television set.

1^st Nigerian child: Daddy, good afternoon.

2^nd Nigerian child: Daddy, good afternoon

Nigerian parent: {eyes them speculatively. Yes. Good afternoon. So what is it?.

1^st Nigerian child: {shifts legs nervously on the tiled floor} Dad, there is a new soap opera coming up on AIT. Its broadcast every Monday to …

Nigerian parent: Soap what? {glares at them angrily} Is that what I send you to school to go and study?

2^nd Nigerian child: But dad, it is only for one hour.

Nigerian parent: You are not watching any soap opera in this house. All those bad shows will corrupt your mind. You should read your books rather than watching shows.

2^nd Nigerian child: Daddy, we are on holiday.

Nigerian parent: {infuriated}You’re not watching any soap opera. And that’s final. Go and read your books.

{Both children look at each other as they walk back to their room}

Nigerian Parent: Children of nowadays. {tunes up the volume of the television set.}

Later that evening, by 9:30 pm.

The 1^st Nigerian child stands beside the window of the house, peeping through the window at the ongoing program on the television screen. At the child’s feet, lay kitchen napkins and two large bowls. One is filled with soapy water, the other translucent.

The 2md Nigerian child stays close to the television, remote control in hand. A chemistry textbook clutched in the other hand. They both watch the soap opera drama unfold.

1^st Nigerian child looks up sharply as the gate creaks open from a distance.

1^st Nigerian child: {Whispers urgently} Someone’s coming. (dumps the napkins in the soapy water and begins to wash)

The 2^nd Nigerian child quickly switches off the television. Jumps into a chair and begins to read. Aloud.

Nigerian parent: {observes child washing}. What are you washing by this time?

1^st Nigerian child: {looks up} The kitchen napkins.

Nigerian parent: {Nods happily} That’s good. {Peeps through the window. Smiles at the other studious child} Reading. Good. Let me go back to the shop. I don’t want to disturb you..

1^st Nigerian child: (hides smirk) Okay. I’ll read as soon as I’m done washing.

Nigerian parent: That’s good. Let me go back to the shop.

1^st Nigerian child: okay. (resumes washing)

Footsteps fades away. Gate closes.

2^nd Nigerian child: {closes book. Peeps through window} Gone?

1^st Nigerian child: Yes, put on the television. You’re washing tomorrow.

2^nd Nigerian child: No problem.

End

In this digital world, it is very difficult to separate your kids from the television, laptops, TV games or phones. The child can get addicted to this media outlets if you aren't careful or watchful enough. And the effects of the media gadgets on children are not good.

Rather than restrict them; and have them do it behind your back (trust me, children are very inventive in disobedient malpractices); there are ways in which a parent can effectively navigate the media drenched world and curb the excessiveness of media addiction of your children.

1. Be a good example. If they see you watch television twelve hours a day, surely, they will gravitate towards that behaviour.

2. No television set in their bedroom. That’s just asking for trouble.

3. Before you say no. Understand what it is first. Observe, listen, ask and parent.

4. Set limited viewing times. Don’t completely restrict them. Though the media has it disadvantages, there are still some good ones. It’s easier to limit their viewing habit if they understand they can watch only one show per day. And explain why you made the decision to them.

5. View the shows alone first before determining which is appropriate for your child. You can also watch the show with the child and ask questions.

6. Ensure they know the difference between real life and television/game shows so they don’t have unrealistic fantasies playing in their head.

7. Encourage other activities. Its not only school books children use to educate themselves. Introduce board games or art supplies. You can also introduce family time together; without the intrusion of the media..

8. If you want a sure free way, then do this - Cut your cable or remove your television completely.

TELL US THE SEXUAL TRUTH !!!

Nigerian child: You called for me. {the adolescent stands on shaky legs, mind rampaging through the day, for an unknown misdeed.}

Nigerian parent: {clears throat nervously} Mmm, you are going to university tomorrow.

Nigerian child: {Eyes blinks in confusion} Yes.

Nigerian parent: {Emits low cough again.} Eh. I just want to tell you that if any boy calls you, don’t answer him.

An unearthly silence as both stare at each other.

Nigerian child: What? Calls me? How?

Nigerian parent: You know.{gestures in desperation, wanting off the subject matter.} If a man calls you, just go the opposite direction. Spit on him if possible. They just want to ruin you life.

Understanding dawns on the teenager. Shifting legs, slowing against the tiled floor, the child smirks. Mischievously.

Nigerian child: okay.

Nigerian parent: You are a bright child. You have always been a good girl. Continue to be a good girl even in the university. Don’t bring shame to the family. Don’t go to bed with any man.

Nigerian child: {Eyes glinting with mischief, the child nods} Go to bed as in how?

Nigerian parent: {Swallows audibly}. Sleep on the same bed.

Nigerian child: {Eyes widen in false shock}. So, if I sleep beside a man on the bed, I will get pregnant?”

Nigerian parent: {Casts eyes away} Yes. Even if he hugs you. Especially, {clears clogged throat again} -if he puts his thing inside you.

Nigerian child: What thing? Inside where?

Nigerian parent: (Puffs out air from nostril in frustration} That thing….

Nigerian child: I don’t understand. What thing?

Nigerian parent: Don’t let him touch your panties. Don’t even let him see your pant.

Nigerian child: {nods soberly} Why will he want to see my pant?

Nigerian parent: (Sweating profusely). I just told you. Just don’t come back home pregnant. The conversation is over. Go and put beans on fire.

  (The end.)

Not apt, but relative.

A Nigerian child's sexual education fall within this scope. Well, that’s if they are lucky enough to get one. I got mine from Mills and Boons, Harlequin Romance, Batam books and then Zebra Historical Novels.

Our children live in a highly sexualized society where they are exposed to sexual language, images, and behaviours before they are developmentally prepared to handle them.

Research has shown that 90 percent of children today first learn about sex through viewing pornography. Other research reveals that a child’s first exposure to porn happens around nine years old. And this leads to deeply embedded ideas about sex that negatively distort a child, well into their adult years. Lets not even forget about the onslaught of sexual predators roaming the street under the cloak of friends, neighbours or relatives.

Discard the shame or awkwardness about approaching the subject with the children. Because when given so little/ less valid information about such a tantalizing subject, where’s a curious child to turn?

To their phone {parental control doesn’t always work}. Or their friends. Or a probably depraved friend or family relative who might want to show tell in avid details.

It’s up to parents to turn the tide. As a parent, you are the one who helps your child define and understand their sexuality. Be the one they come to when they have questions about sex even though its awkward.

From age three, discuss the names of the parts of the body with your kid.

From age five, talk about conception, and childbirth.

From ages eight, talk about puberty, menstrual circle, pornography, sexual abuse and sexual intercourse, including boundaries.

From ages eleven, have more dialogue about hormones and love, dating, and more complex questions about sexuality.

Children need to know about sex, this way, they can make decisions that are right for them when the time comes. And by discussing the right topics at the right ages, you’re setting your child up to be empowered.

My Own Brand Of Cohabitation

Years ago, I was of the opinion that cohabitation before marriage aids marriage life span.

I presumed the high rise in divorces stemmed from the fact that couples didn’t fully understand each other before legalization. I came to the conclusion that peradventure both parties decided to live together for a period of time, they would be able to discern their compatibility. Living together as a trial run where you can learn each others habit, expectations and quirks, see how well you cope sharing responsibilities.

The theory was based on the conscious and safe assumption that if both parties decide they weren't compatible, they could easily part ways without the ugly legal battle of divorce.

Recently, I reversed my theory after this analysis.

How assured am I that cohabitation with lead to marriage? How many people will I have to cohabit with before I’m assured of compatibly? Who gets to decide incompatibility?

What will be the grounds and rules of staying together? Who will be the more beneficial party of the cohabitation? Are we going to be sexually active? And if we are sexually active, and end up uncongenial, how many men will I end up getting sexually affiliated with? What will I do if I get pregnant since condoms work only 97 percent of the time. Is there a slated criteria by which I’ll know who is compatible for me? Whose house are we going to live in? If there’s a breakup, who leaves?

How long will the ruse go on till I’m fed up with moving from one man to the other before I finally decided to stick to one. And why should the possibility of collapse be the striking force in my life?

Now I’m of the opinion that with marriage, there is the sense of security, confidence and respect. I have finally come to the conclusion, there is no short-cut to happiness. To achieve anything great in life, you have to work for it.

Statistics (First things first) also show that 60 percent of couples who live together will not go on to get married, either because they break up (39 percent) or just continue to live together (21 percent).

Another statistical fact is couples who live together before they marry have a divorce rate that is 50 percent higher than those who don’t.

Even the national institute of child health and human development reports: cohabiting relationships are less stable than marriages and that instability is increasing. 

No one is perfect. We’re all different individuals with varying backgrounds, ideologies and temperaments. We might not be a hundred percent all the time but we have to be determined to make it work. Yeah, we might argue, fight, get on each others nerves, but we made a declarative pledge to each other before God and man.

Ignore the false propaganda of the media. You have the ability to shape your life the way you want it. Likewise marriage. Its not a good idea to ignore the problems with the concept of cohabitation no matter how favourable it seems.

Age limit to saying I DO?

When family relatives and acquaintances ask about my relationship status and I respond 'single,' I get weird looks.

The next question that pops out of their mouth is - How old are you again?
Mostly I want to roll my eyes but I respectfully respond.
Then they go on and on about how I'm supposed to be hitched since I'm done with my tertiary education. therefore the next on my agenda is marriage!!!
I try to explain  that getting married isn't like getting a university degree nor a job one can change when you find a better appointment.
I try to drum it in that wedding is just paparazzi, while marriage is the real deal where all the skeletons are out of the closet.
Yet, they insist there is an age  limit for marriage especially for women.
I believe there's no age limit to marriage. Men and women have rushed into marriage due to age pressure and ended up with unfathomable regrets.
It's better to be assured of what you are getting into before you take that "till  death do you part" plunge. Age should never be the determining factor.
Check out the article, questions to ask your partner before you get married
My viewpoint, however stated; but your opinions and comments are welcomed.

strict Parents = Untruthful Children?

According to the above picture, strict parents turn their kids into effective liars.
Dear readers, how true is this assessment?
How then can we correct children when they misbehave without being strict?
And how strict is too strict?
Please drop your opinions and suggestions in the comment box below.

His inferiority complex; her job!

My friend Ilabeshi, posted this on Facebook.
He said he was appalled beyond words at the senselessness of the post. Note that he is a man who's even shocked at the absurdity.
Personally it's beyond crazy that a woman will leave a high paying job just to satisfy a man's ego or inferiority complex.
What's wrong if the woman earns more? Why does the woman have to be the sacrificial lamb? 
Just to sustain a marriage?!!!😤😡
This is my own standpoint but your opinions and comments are highly welcome.

Why Only Her?

Gooday readers, 

I have an unanswered question, I'd like to share. Hopefully, your opinions will shed more clarity. 

Here it goes : Why do women have to wear makeup to look beautiful and men don't? We all have the same skin right?

So why do we have to spend a minimum of  thirty minutes in front of a mirror pilling on stuff, while the  guys go barefaced?!!

Why cant we just go barefaced together?!!!

Please, your answers and opinions are highly welcomed.

The first eight things a man notice about a woman

Yesterday we highlighted the first things women notice in a man. Today we go through the men’s perspective. The truth of the matter is that men are quite direct in their indications about what they feel about a woman.

Its important to understand that all men aren’t alike, Biologically, men are hardwired to take note of certain parts of the woman’s beauty but certain features do invite formidable appreciation. Here, are what really grabs their attention when they first meet a lady.

Your eyes  

The eyes are the first point of contact. To them, a woman’s eyes speak volumes about her personality and approach to life. As it’s said, the eyes are the windows to the soul. Eyes are magnets that can attract a stranger. So ladies, light up the eye make-up; that’s if you want to attract him.

Your smile

You’re never completely dressed without a smile. It is widely known that a woman’s smile is perhaps the most bewitching and tempting feature in her. A smiling women is considered to be much more approachable. She sends the signal of happiness and optimism. So ladies, pop out that smile, you never know who is falling in love with your beautiful smile.

Your hair

The hair is a feature that magnifies a woman's body. Some of the men voted for a beautiful and healthy hair that smells good too. So all the hours spent in the hairdresser’s chair are not in vain.

Your legs and shoes

The degree a man finds a woman’s legs attractive differs from individual to individual. A woman’s legs unfailingly serve to amplify her beauty. Even if he is not a shoe fetish, chances are high that he’ll notice what you are wearing. The right shoes can improve your overall appearance.

Your outfit

Believe it or not, most men prefer to date a woman they deem classy. This mean that you must limit the amount of skin you show. Men love some mystery about women, but half-naked body reveals all the secrets.

Your breasts

Admiration of the breasts comes only after the bewitching eyes and entrancing smile. According to studies, men look at the breasts due to a natural phenomenon exhibited by the body’s senses.

Your skin

Clear skin is attractive. It’s an indicator of good health to them. Always cleanse and moisturise your skin in the morning and before bed. And don’t forget about exfoliating.

Your charisma

When a charismatic woman glide into a room with a powerful self-confidence, its makes men stop in their wake. Be confident and independent especially financially.

Readers, there are many things most men notice in a woman. What do you think of this list? Can you add to this list? Share your thoughts in the comment session, please.

 

The first seven things a woman notice about a man

There is a saying that “men look, women see.” Guys, good looks will make an impression, but the female subconscious inspection include many other aspects that most men are not aware of. 

The physical aspects apparently get noticed first before any other personality traits. Women will always look past first impressions, but it does really work in your favour if you manage to get that right. 

We definitely notice everything, from what he's wearing to how he speaks and his gestures. So here are the first seven things women notice about men.

Shoes

The first thing a woman notice about a man is his shoes. Did you guess this? The thing is, most women will look at a man from the bottom up. The shoes a man wears are one of the biggest telltale signs of his personality. So always don the right pair of polished shoes.

Aftershave/deodorant or a good cologne

It may be invisible to the eye, but it’s certainly not to the nose. If a woman smells an attractive aftershave or cologne on a man, the said man automatically hikes up a few notches on the attractive-scale. Invest in a good cologne, or  deodorant. You don't want her to move six feet away from you before you even open your mouth!

Your greeting.

Honestly? We don’t mind whether you go in for a hug, a kiss on the cheek or a handshake. The most important thing is that you do it with confidence. Don’t go in for a hug then hesitate and stick your hand out for a sloppy handshake – it’s so unpolished and mortifying.

Your hands

This may sound slightly weird, but a woman can tell a lot about a man from his hands. If, as aforesaid, you’re going to go in for a handshake, there’s a high chance we're going to notice your hands. I’m referring to the general state of hygiene that men keep their hands in. Long and dirty fingernails on a man is unappealing.

Your outfit

Your outfit is a huge revelation about your personality. Apparently, your outfit depends on what you’re doing that day but try to keep it well-assembled without any colour clashing. The outfit doesn’t have to be trendy, but an idea of what is trending will help keep you coordinated.

Unkempt hair or unruly beards/moustache

Most women do not prefer unkempt hair or unruly beards/moustache. The recent trend is to just keep it simple, neat and aesthetically appealing. Women don't mind a man with a beard as long as he grooms it and keeps it neatly trimmed!

Posture

We definitely check your posture. If a man stands tall, with his shoulders pushed back, he projects gallant confident. But if you're slouching with your shoulders drooping, it's a sign that you're nervous, uncertain with a low self-esteem, which is a big turn off.

We aren’t shallow but, it will really work in your favour if you manage to get this right. Besides don’t you expect women to be a certain way around you too?