Following the media hailstorm surrounding the confession of celebrity blogger Linda Ikeji and her baby daddy, it got me thinking. Not over whether it was lawful to have a child out of wedlock or religious to have such child dedicated in the church.
Oh no. That’s trivial.
There are more important issues. And the question that popped in my head, in the midst of the social media drama was this.
“Where is my father? Why didn’t he stay?”
Assuredly the child will grow up to notice the absence of the other parent and would soon ask that question or will have the question burning in his or her heart as the case may be.
Therefore, I want to ask, (in relation to other single mothers) when is it the right time/age to answer such supplications of a child of a single parent?
I would be elated in receiving your comments about this.
I think a mother should be able to tell a child about his absent father on the day he begins to ask...hiding the true gist from the child will not help to shield him from the hurt, neither would it make him any better...If the child is to grow in such a home, he has to learn to accept that he has no father and he is a man of his own...the only way a mother can shield her child from such stories is by telling lies and one thing about lies that is quiet universe is that the truth always comes out at the end. Its best to let the child know in time instead of shielding him with false hopes. Children are stronger than they appear.
ReplyDeleteThe truth always comes out at the end. Thanks.
DeleteHow's having a child out of wedlock trival?
ReplyDeleteNo one holds their fate in their hands. Anything can happen. The major thing is always be ready whatever life throws your way
DeleteIf they are old enough to ask the question, I think they are old enough to get an honest answer.
ReplyDeleteWhen the is off aqe.... I think he/she shud know bout it
DeleteAs soon as possible. As soon as the child comes of age bfor outsiders begin to fill the child head with unwholesome stories and you begin to defend.
ReplyDeleteSolidly accept your opinion.
DeleteI think the conversation should come up as soon as the child can effectively communicate to you. You don't have to wait till he asks. Usually, prior to the asking would have been bullied or teased about it. Don't wait till it's that bad. Just sit him/her down and tell them first that they are loved very much and appreciated and that whatever negative thing that is happening is not their fault. It's very important children know this because it determines their behaviour and self-esteem. You might not see the self-esteem thing until they're grown. Then it would be too late. So, ask God for wisdom and get on with the constructive part of the child's life, so you don't have to do repair work instead. Raising a child is challenging, repairing them is more work!
ReplyDeleteThank you very much for this . I noted this "raising a child is challenging, repairing them is more work ' important to let them know they are loved unconditionally. 😁😁😁
DeleteThank you very much for this . I noted this "raising a child is challenging, repairing them is more work ' important to let them know they are loved unconditionally. 😁😁😁
DeleteThe need to say the truth is important, however we should avoid giving out information that may cause hatred if the man in question is alive
ReplyDeleteOr vice versa.
DeleteThere are so many children today who don't know their father(s) or haven't seen their father, and this is very painful cos there's a lot of psychological effect for not having a father or father figure in someone's Life. The truth needs to be told when it needs to be told. Prolonging the truth will extend the consequences that lie ahead.
ReplyDeleteThe question is when? Do you wait for the child to ask or you just enlighten when the child comes to understandable age?
DeleteThere's no better time than when the child begins to show signs of identifying people, coming of age and asking questions
ReplyDeleteOkay then
DeleteThe best time is when the child spills the question. Even if the mother isn't ready she should tell him the truth.
ReplyDeleteThe truth will set you free
DeleteI don't know if there is a right age to answer, but I think the details of your answer at every point should of course be dependent on the childs age
ReplyDeleteHmmmm!!!! "The details of your answer at every point should be dependent on the child's age." Food for thought!!!
DeleteMy Unpopular Opinion...
ReplyDelete....I think if its a Female Child, the information could be delayed till when the Child asks the question, But in the Case of a Male Child, it has to be brought as soon as the Kid is smart enough to understand things.
And why the discrimination if I might ask? Why can't both discern the information at the same age ?
DeleteNo discrimination here.
ReplyDeleteMy head just tells me One needs the information earlier than the other.
Why?
DeleteI'd speak to my Medulla and get a proper explanation for you.
DeleteHahahaha
Delete