The Woman As A Human Being

I am assured of the backlash from this post, or being termed a feminist. However, I need to voice this. I cannot begin to rant about the cynical view of women. Most especially with the supposed sappy stipulated Dos and Don’ts.

I have observed the way women are treated; speaking in reference to wives in Nigeria as a case study; and it is appalling. Yes, I get that the man is the head of the home but seriously, do you have to demean the woman in every possible way? Did you not know that the wife is the extension of yourself?

It is a deplorable fact that the ever-running belief is women are either objectified and/or subjugated to the background. The idealism that women is a thing created for the humble service of man is demeaning.

Who is to blame? Is it our patriarchal society? Or the social media? With women, it is more about how they are expected to look, behave, their expected feminine/wifely responsibility; than what they think. Women are not made to become your house cleaner but helpmate. These are two distinct words. Besides if, the woman is to be your helpmate, then who is her helpmate?

Our generation was never, really taught by the older generation how to treat a woman. A lot of us have seen our parents fight or split up because of numerous reasons such as cheating, neglect, or excessive brutality. Too many young boys go through life without the proper understanding on how to treat a woman with chivalry. All they have seen is the constant disrespect, so the circle goes on.

How do they learn, when the society tells them a woman’s role ends only in the kitchen? That all women are just tools for pleasure. We came into this world through a woman. They have so much wisdom, knowledge, and experience that we cannot even fathom. They deal with menstrual circle and child bearing. They deserve to be treated with respect!

During a conversation with a married friend, I was astonished when he informed me that ever since he had gotten married, he washes the clothes in the house. No exclusion. How many men will do that?

I have an issue with the men whose head is swollen with what I call ‘the head of the house syndrome’. Yes, you are the head of the house. Yes, we agree that your cultural background has influenced you. Sure, the model worked for a certain period and we cannot fault it because it helped hold the fabrics of our society in place. Inasmuch, there are areas in this model that are not worthy of applause in the light of civilization.

Some men carry the opinion of submission as if it is a gift to bestow on them. Some even think they are performing a golden favour to a woman by proposing marriage. Personally, it irks me when I observe women treated subserviently while the man is elated as some kind of god.

I am not voicing that a woman should not respect her husband. Stop the woman brutality. Raising your hand on a woman makes you no less than a beast. Sitting down idle while your wife perform all the activities in the house is just plain selfish and wickedness. Assisting her in the kitchen or other household chores will not make you less than a man.

Even the notion of a man getting married just to have the burden of his house-chores shifted on the woman is not permissible. You want to reduce the stress of your house chores, get a house cleaner.

Demeaning her in the public does not exaggerate your importance in the face of people who observe that. You will be viewed as a bully. You are both partners in the business of marriage. The respect does not only tally with the women. Respect is reciprocal.

I am not a cynic, but a part of me as a girl still dislikes the way women are framed as infinitesimal objects especially in the married home, rather than focusing on other aspect of our personalities.

I once read a Facebook post; “In Nigeria, it is believed that behind every successful man is a successful woman; but behind every successful woman is a huge number of guys she has slept with.” Is it possible that every successful woman has only achieved thus because she spread her legs? I strongly disagree. There are women who work tirelessly, to achieve success without sexual favouritism.

That ideology got me thinking. Is it that we women do not focus on anything else but our aesthetics or supposed wifely responsibilities? The woman dignity and humanity should be restored. If we do not believe in ourselves, no one will. Embrace womanhood but know that is not just it.

Expand your creative minds and ambitions. Reach for something bigger in life. Every human being is beautiful and should be admired. Moreover, shockingly, even a woman has a mind that can be utilized apart from household chores.

Men, be that one person that is different and treats the womenfolk with respect. Every girl is a treasure if you know how to extract her potential.