How much is too much?

A lecture hall at one of the most prestigious university campuses. Nigerian child walks in, a bag draped over a shoulder, books cradled in the crook of an arm. Smiles and waves to other undergraduates milling around the lecture room. Moves towards a vacant seat. Phones vibrates as Nigerian child is about to sit down.

Nigerian child: (extracts mobile from bag) Daddy, good afternoon.

Nigerian parent: (a hushed sound) Where are you? I hear voices.

Nigerian child: I’m in the lecture room. About to have a lecture.

Nigerian parent: Then why do I hear boys voices in the background?

Nigerian child: Boys? Voices? (Startled) Dad, I’m in the lecture hall! I have male course-mates as well as females.

Nigerian parent: (hisses in indignation). Don’t try to be smart with me young lady! I know you have male course-mates. I’m asking why you have to sit close to them! Aren’t there other vacant seats available without the male counterparts flouncing about you? Is that what you do because you are now in a university, far away from home? This is why I wanted you to go to a university closer to the house, where I could keep an eye on you. Now, you have started mixing and seating with boys. Only God knows what you’ll do next?!

Nigerian child: (pensive) I’m about to have a lecture, dad.

Nigerian parent: Will you listen to me?! You should not be sitting down close to any boy. There should be other vacant seats where you can sit, without male interference,

Nigerian child: (heaves a quiet sigh) Dad, there …

Nigerian parent: (interrupts impatiently.) This is what I don’t like about you. Always stubborn when I’m trying to correct you. Protect you. You shouldn’t be sitting down in close proximity to any man.

Nigerian child: Dad, this is a mixed school! (she echoes vehemently)

Nigerian parent: Still. I want to hear you stand up and change your seat. Where no boy will traipse by.

Nigerian child: There’s no place like that.

Nigerian parent: (screeches) Then look for. Stand up right now. I want to hear you moving.

Sounds of feet moving is heard as she gets up, move towards a less crowded portion of the hall.

Nigerian child: I’m all alone, dad. No boys in the vicinity.

Nigerian parent: (listens intensively) Good. I just want to protect you.

Nigerian child: (sullenly) Yes. The lecturer just came in. Bye, dad.

Nigerian parent: Bye. I’ll call you later.

Call drops.

{The Ends.}

Dear readers, what’s your perception of the above illustration?

Are you of the opinion the father is justified in his protective disposition towards his child?

Or is this an attribute a parent will exhibit, that will spook a child into never wanting to return home.

Remarks and answers can be dropped in the comment box.

Photo credit:sirlejuures.blogspot.com

No longer compatible!!!

I'll begin today’s post with a question.

What form of behavior will a parent showcase; with a case study of the father; that will provoke a child, to seek attempts of escape?

I know you're wondering why the question. It streams from a conversation I had with a friend some days ago. I inquired why he never visited for the holidays after the school sessions ended.

His explanation boiled down to the constant altercations with his father. And to avoid any probable verbal disaffection, the distance was a gainful solution to both parties involved.

This brought into remembrance, a family friend; of the female gender, who moved  out of her parents house after she openly informed them; if she was to abide in the same home with her parents, she would not be favorably inclined to marriage. More especially the behavior of her father towards her mother,

And this, is but a few of the life illustrations.

This prodded my source of inquiry. When did family relationships become so hostile, one decides to escape the clutches of the other? When do fathers become so overbearing, they unknowingly encourage daughters or sons to seek refuge in a different apartment? 

Or would you say its the fault of the kids who all of a sudden become independent?

photocredit:houghtonhouse.co.za

Forgiveness

Quick question for today: 

How possible is it to genuinely forgive someone, without holding a conversation with the person first?

Await your comments and opinions...

Rejection

When you are rejected, reassure yourself with this:

Rejection is a gift. 

Rejection is an indication that you have outgrown a relationship or realm. 

Don’t get upset when people reject you. 

Rejection should not cause tears.

It should cause joy because the rejected stone becomes the corner stone. 

Meat budgeting

Fed-up of the daily, weekly or bi monthly purchasing of your meat products?

I did too, until I came up with a much easier method that saves time and also minimize cost.

I call it THE MEAT BUDGETING. This is where I buy a large quantity of diverse meat produce, sufficient for a month; cut it in bits and store in the freezer.

Below is a pictorial representation:

Breakfast ideas - Breakfast sussages, eggs and potatoes

 Potatoes fried in real butter with salt, pepper, and topped with a bit of onion; served with breakfast sausages and eggs
 

Words for thought!!!

Who can give a deeper meaning to this sentence ?

“Why are you keeping up with the Kardashians, when the Kardashians should be keeping up with you?”

I wholeheartedly await your replies.

Nigerian Artists - Perfect Dress Models?

In the book, ‘It’s Not Only Rock & Roll’, the author claim that music provides teens with a firm cultural identity. To a large extent, it also defines the way they act, dress and speak. We have famous music artists icons influencing teens and youths lifestyle; though often not in a positive way.

  I watched a musical video; DeBarge - Rhythm of the Night (1985) where everybody was conservatively garbed.

However, in present times, a large percentage of the musical videos broadcast on our daily television, the ladies are all but completely nude; while the men have their trousers half way down their asses.

And worse of, international companies as well as the government, endorse this people, rewarding them for their meaningless lyrics and partially clothed bodies.

 Unsurprisingly, teenagers and youths observe the behaviours as morally acceptable; as role models to emulate.

And then we ask ourselves where moral decadence of the society springs forth?

If our society praise and see this artists as upstanding individuals, then I see no need for anyone to get judgemental about the near nakedness we see on the streets donned on by our teenagers and youths alike.

You desire a positive modification, change who you depict to the society as positive role models.

Musical lyrics

The notion that the lyrics of a song can influence your thoughts, feelings and behaviours, probably doesn’t come as much of a surprise. If you’ve ever felt pumped up or been moved to tears by music, then you easily understand the power of music to impact moods and even inspire emotion.

It was even suggested that your taste in music can provide insight into different aspects of your personality. Therefore, I think it’s paramount that for us to be inspired positively, we must listen to the right lyrics.

Music affects our behaviour, psychology and reality perception. In his book ‘change your brain, change your life,’ Dr. Daniel Amen explains that regular listening of some types of music can be a door to a person’s mind and his feelings. According to Dr. Daniel Amen, teenagers, who listen to music with negative content, very often end up in rehab centres.

Remember how lullabies lured us to sleep; effectively shows music affects our behaviour. Music is a powerful tool to affect peoples behaviour so it must be carefully used to produce a positive effect.

Music can be inspiring. Music can be soothing and calming. But music can destruct us in a way we cant even imagine. Every piece of music has it own identity and personality. Lyrics of songs that advocate substance use, usually also refer to violence and sex themes, generate negative ideas and may have respective consequences.

A vivid example is this song sang by Lil Kesh and Olamide;

‘I dey pray to jesuu (jesuu) ko wo wole (kowo wole o)

If money no enter I go do blood money o….

I dey pray to Allah (Allah)

Kowo wole o… (kowo wole o)

If money no enter I go do blood money o.’

Dear readers, what's the theme of this song? Especially  to our Nigerian youths and teenagers?

Oldies vs Current

Apologizes for the break in transmission. I was on a family vacation; celebrating my parents birthday. And my laptop and Ipad was ruefully discarded.

We’re resuming with a rattling issue everyone loves and virtually cant do without. And what's it?

Music. 

I prefer oldies to the new generational music streamed out nowadays. As I believe oldies carry more significance.

So, my beloved readers; what’s your preference in regards to the songs of the 70’s, 80’s and 90’s; to those played in recent times.  

Happy new Year

Wishing all our readers and subscribers a happy and prosperous new year.

New Year Resolutions - And Achieving them

Ever wondered why we end up never achieving most of our New Year resolutions? Prior to this day, most people attempt to forget their bad experiences and start things afresh with a new bunch of resolutions and promises. Yet, most see the end of the year without accomplishing any of the set down aspirations.

Firstly you need to understand that nothing you plan to do in 2019 will materialize until you realize that the real change doesn’t happen at midnight on December 31^st. It has to happen right now in your heart. So whatever aspirations and goals you’ve planned for the new year, you might as well start working on them now.

However, I’ve come up with a routine that will aid in the achievement of our new goals for the coming twelve-month.

1. Stop procrastinating. The biggest barrier that keeps most people from reaching their goals is the desire to relax and do something fun instead of working hard. (For me, its candy crush). So we’ll need to put in a lot of work to change this bad habit.

2. Meet new people. Meeting new people can be beneficial to your mental well-being and aid your career. It also provides the opportunity to network and have fun instead of staying morose at home. So don’t be afraid to get out there are make new friends.

3. Become more active. Rather than staying all day hunched in front of the screen of your mobile phone or television, find ways of moving around more throughout the day. You might actually loose some of the body weight you’ve been contending with.

4. Become more confident. If you’re confident, people will notice and it becomes much more easier to have your opinion heard. So stowaway shyness, speak up and take chances.

5. Earn more money. Even billionaires are looking for ways to earn more money. You can learn a skill, work as a freelancer or use the internet to a positive advantage.

6. Be more polite. Good manners make it easier to connect with others and ensure people view you as a good and trust-wordy person.

7. Go see your doctor more often. Regular check-ups are a must, no matter how healthy you feel at the moment.  

Does this seem feasible? 

playing the victim

Ladies, are you curious to why you only attract ‘boys’ who are only interested in taking advantage of you?

Here’s a question - What are you projecting?

Are you projecting weakness; playing the victim or are you projecting strength?

Lets deviate a little. When carnivores animals go hunting, do you know who they target? They search for the weak ones and not the strong one who most assuredly will give them a tough time.

Similarly the shark. What attracts the shark? The scent and trail of blood.

Now off from the animal planet, and back to the human world. We should understand that the world is only impressed with strength. You show them weakness and they will trample all over you.

Yes, you’ve been hurt, sexually abused and preyed upon by immature men. Yes I know how painful it must be - the heartbreak, the shame, the hurt, the vanquishing self esteem. But don’t go off sprouting the unfortunate tale to everyone who’s ready to listen. You’re just making yourself more malleable to the wrong set of people.

Pick yourself up. Cry a river. But the next day, clean up your face and forge ahead.  

There’s a law of unintended consequences for every action you take. So if you think that piping out what you’ve been through to every guy you meet and that will get you in their good books, you might be right.

And you might also be very wrong .

So pipe down and see a psychiatrist instead of unconsciously feeding yourself to men who only see you as easy prey. Rather than showcasing weakness, display strength. Yes, we know its been an excruciating occurrence and you might need to talk to someone.

Let that person be a psychiatrist.

And one of the counsel from a psychiatrist is, ‘never propagate the issue.’ Speak out, but speak to the right ear.