(In Fiancé living room, he places the dished meal on the dinning table, situated at the corner of the room. He places a jug of water, a glass cup beside the plates on the table mat. He smiles at the set up. Very soon, his wife would be the one slaving over the stove, while he lays back watching the television or reading the newspapers. Three more days and she would be his wife by the Christian decree. He’s about to sit down to his meal when a knock on the door resounds into the room.)
Fiancé: (Looks up) Who is that?
Fiancée: Guess.
Fiancé: (Smiles as he walks to the door. Opens it.) Why are you knocking? This is your home.
Fiancée: After the church wedding. (hugs him). So happy with the intervals we scheduled between the traditional and church wedding. The stress was exhilarating. And tiresome.
Fiancé: (Nods) Are you hungry? I made rice. You can have a plate.
Fiancée: I’m famished. (goes to the kitchen to dish up her meal) I’ve been up and about since morning.
Fiancé: What were you doing? You should be resting.
Fiancée: (she comes into the parlor, sets the plate on the table beside his.) Had a few errands to run.
Fiancé: (Eyes her plate speculatively. Purses his lips in annoyance) How many pieces of meat did you take?
Fiancée: Two. Why?
Fiancé: You took two pieces of meat? (inhales angrily) In this recession?
Fiancée: (shocked) I don’t understand?
Fiancé: Return the meat back to the pot. We aren’t married and look how wasteful you are. When you finally move in, how many will you take?
Fiancée: (tries to smile as she looks over at his plate) But you took three pieces of ….
Fiancé: (slaps her)
Fiancée: Jesus. (clutches her hurt cheek as her eyes water)
Fiancé: How dear you talk to me in that manner? You will obey me. I have paid your dowry. I'm the man. I’m the head of this household and I can do whatever I like. You, on the other-hand, have to economize.
Fiancée: (petrified) You slapped me because I took an extra piece of meat?
Fiancé: And I will slap you again if you argue with me. (Eyes blazing, he points to the kitchen) Now return the meat before I loose my temper.
Fiancée: (Stares at him disbelieving.) You - slapped - me.
Fiancé: Are you still… (he advances towards her, threateningly)
Fiancée: (she rushes to the kitchen, plate in hand)
Fiancé: (hisses) Foolish woman. Doesn't know how much I spent on the traditional wedding. And will still spend on the church wedding. (shouts) Do you think money grows on trees? I worked hard for it. And you want to waste it. I have paid you dowry, so that shakara will end. Talking back at me? (he paces) I’ll beat that stubbornness out of you. You’ll learn how to manage by force.
Fiancée: (comes out of the kitchen)
Fiancé: (notice her empty hands) Where’s your food?
Fiancée: I’m not hungry. (she picks up her discarded handbag.) I have to go home.
Fiancé: You are angry? (sneers) Because of ordinary slap?
Fiancée: (She shakes her head.) I just remembered something I need to do. Sorry for taking an extra piece of meat. I’ll be back.
(Exits before he could stop her.)
(Light out)
The next day, the wedding is called off. Every bit of the bride’s price is also refunded by the parents of the girl.
The End
This happened to my cousin, a couple years ago.
My cousin’s father was the one who triggered the decision that the wedding be called off. He wasn't about to let his daughter be turned into a punching bag!
Ladies, you should be cherished and appreciated. Yes, you’re in your 20’s, 30’s, or even 40’s; but remember, the pain of marrying late is nothing compared to the pain of marrying the wrong person.
Don’t get desperate, you give reasons for his bad behavior. Don’t appease any bad behavior in a relationship. Marriage is a long time affair. Don’t stay in an abusive relationship all for the sake of marriage. Let them go.
Later on in life, you’ll recognize that you were better off than getting into a relationship or marriage that you’ll regret at the end of day. It doesn't matter how long you have stayed in the relationship or even if you’re engaged to be married.
Its not going be easy but let it go. We are talking future here, long term. In a country where there’s no law protecting the brutality of a woman, rather she’ll be blamed for provoking her husband.
Make a decision - Your happiness or what the world expects of you. No one can pretend for ever. One way or the other, snippets of the behavior will leak out. Don’t put up with crap all because you want someone to love you. Don’t devalue yourself. Don’t stay with someone detrimental to you.
Appreciate yourself. Work hard. Earn that money - the right way. Don’t be dependent on anyone. Work on your self esteem. You don’t need someone to love you to feel complete.
Never ignore the warning signs.
ReplyDeleteEmancipation of women needs to be appreciated, because women are the mother of all sweetness, so women need to be respected. in Indonesia women and children are protected by law
Wish a law would be made to protect women against brutality from the male folks. At least that will checkmate them
DeleteLaw enforcement in marriage is a major source of divorces today
DeleteIt saves sanity
DeleteGenuine Love saves Sanity, Law only try to avoid it and which isn't 100% guaranteed
DeleteGenuine love doesn't transcend into punching bag status
DeleteAh! You slap me.. ..i will slap you again..
ReplyDeleteYour kind of response?
DeleteA marriage will never stand with this 👆
DeleteNor a relationship
DeleteWith this there will be several Scars that can't be treated and the relationship will break
DeleteSafer
DeleteWomen should be protected
ReplyDeleteBy emotion
DeleteVery very enlightening.
ReplyDeleteThank you
Deleteit’s destiny anyway - but u have to open the gate for this destiny not block it
ReplyDeleteBut destiny can be changed
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteMy above comment related to the post pict at the top not to your story
ReplyDeleteHmmmmmmmm??
ReplyDeleteHmmmmmmmm??
ReplyDelete??? What this mmmmmmm mean ?!
ReplyDeleteI guess the dude loves his meat....i wonder why we have that mentality that if someone eats more than one or two meats or takes extra it is regarded as being wasteful...make person no belleful ni?. Brutality to men, to women, to animal, etc is unjust. Brutality is not jus physically but mentally as well. A person can be so abused that it kills the essence of the individual totally. This can happen to any one from any gender. But on the subject matter of battering of the lady, the step she took was the wisest, no one deserves to be in an oppressive relationship, such relationship especially for a person with a tender heart will not only affect the body but also the spirit and mind and set dark clouds over the soul. A relationship is suppose to elevate and strengthen those involved, at times regardless of the flaws, any relationship that lacks the essence of life which is to dominate and replenish the earth is negative and should be put to a quick death.
ReplyDeletePerfect respinse, Olajide. Thanks.
DeleteIt is true. Better to be late than never
ReplyDeleteSay it dear
DeleteIn courtship, spouses must test their suitability and compatibility factors, even they can't successfully check this facts, problems will always persist even if they will eventually get married
ReplyDeleteAnd do you suggest they test their suitability and compatibility factors?
DeleteSuitability can't be test at this stage of the relationship because suitability must be test when the relationship is still fresh, it only the compatibility test that can be put at pace at this level and for this kind of the financial mentality of the husband can be corrected to avoid future conflicts and the best solution is family budgeting in accordance with the family income.
DeleteBoth spouses must plan ahead the future and make sure that both take active participation in the provision for the family finances and finally they must Trust in God for provision and all will be well.
DeleteNot only related to finances . All areas must be put into consideration
DeleteYes you're right, but this issue on ground is about Family Finances
DeleteIn some other cases it might not be an extra piece of meat. Major theme here is never ignore the warning signs no matter the trigger
DeleteYeah, but this issue at hand is about family finances
DeleteIf only you could scream this message a little louder for those at the back😏
ReplyDeleteMouth open wide:😱😱😱
DeleteSeriously oooo... They qats hear ooo
DeleteMicrophone at the ready 😱
DeleteNecessary message!
ReplyDeleteThank you
DeleteThank you
ReplyDeleteYou are so welcome
DeleteSomebody Tweeted this epistle this morning and i completely agreed with him.
ReplyDeleteJust thought it was the perfect answer to this post.
"A lot of you are too forgiving. That's why you keep getting yourselves into messy situations everytime. In your bid to always look for the best in people you turn a blind eye to their darker traits.
And it always gets you burnt. Every single time.
It's frankly a stupid way to live. You may call me heartless. But I certainly make better people judgements.
That's one reason why I genuinely don't rate many people. Your approach to life irritates me. You come to complain about a person's behavior, but repeatedly go back to such people rather than be surgical and cut them off.
Pitiful."
KeyWord - BE SURGICAL AND CUT THEM OFF.
And I am in love with this. ..
DeleteBe surgical and cut them off.
This response is GOLD, SILVER and DIAMOND interwoven together.
I agree with the decision.
ReplyDelete