Yesterday I had a very interesting conversation with my friend. (FYI, she doesn’t know how much ideas she pops into my head through our chitchats. Thanks babe, you are the best.)
So the whole gist was mostly on relationships and society views; especially Nigeria’s ideology that a good wife material sterns from this vine:
Firstly she must be a virgin;
And secondly, she must be a good cook.
Therefore, concluding that a non virgin and a bad cook is a terrible woman who isn’t wife material worthy.
Therefore, concluding that a non virgin and a bad cook is a terrible woman who isn’t wife material worthy.
And with those two attributes intact, she is seen as the symbol of perfection in the eyes of everyone who gaze upon her.
While it’s very commendable to ladies who have the self control and discipline to stay away from sexual relations until marriage; however, I agree with my friend, those attributes isn’t a major criteria why a lady should be seen as a wholesome candidate to be termed, wife material.
And to the why I’m in support of this point of view, is why attach importance to just one single thing, or should I say two single things?
The question she asked was; Does being a virgin purge you from all other weird behaviours? A lady can cook all the dishes in the whole wide world yet be self centred, hot tempered, contemptuous or just so plain ridiculous; she’s intolerable.
In summary, we came to the conclusion that, one characteristic, doesn’t qualify you; its an all round thing.
Readers and subscribers; drop in your two cents.
Because one owns a car doesn't make one a driver by profession, virginity shouldn't be a criteria for a woman of virtue fit for the creation of the home...if a lady lacks purity of the heart and mind, the purity of the body matters not, "whats a house without a home?" Ladies should develop thier minds, spirit and body so should men...in this day and age were sex is seen in new light, i don't want to be a part of those that think and say there are no virgins any more in the society, but having said that for a man to meet his wife intact is a good gift for him to unravel, but whats more important is for a man to find a woman worthy and matured to build a home and not just a house with.
ReplyDeleteAnd why the priority for women to be met intact ? Shoudnt it be on both sides ? Women can also unravel a virgin husband
DeleteOf cause it should be both sides but A man can only have a virgin mind, but can't have a virgin unlike the woman...its easy for a man to fake his virginity i guess thats why no one pays emphasis on it...and i wasnt placing priority on virginity...i am just commenting as a man and stating what i feel would be a good wedding gift for me as a man...but what i want more is a woman with a steady mind and motivating character...
DeleteOkay. I will act that
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteAnd how do men fake Virginity? That's just plain weird 🤔
DeleteHow do women fake an orgasm?
DeleteA tutorial then
DeleteVirgin stuff is a thing of the past in my dictionary, though I love a good chef,it doesn't make a good wife too. Cooking delicacies may just be an hobby, it has no correlation with natural character which may be good or bad.
ReplyDeleteIts just a plus if you are lucky to find the three in one, I.e virgin, good chef and mature character. I don't care about virgin, it doesn't show decency at times
And a man who speaks his mind. Yummy.
DeleteIt takes more than just being a Virgin or good cook to make a good wife. There are some who can’t cook and are still good wives to their husbands. You have to look other characteristics such as communication, affection just to name a few
ReplyDeleteBull's-eye
DeleteA good wife cannot be determined by virginity and being a good cook
ReplyDeleteVirginity is a good virtue, it is a good thing to uphold, to be proud of if you are still one, but aside her virginity what else?
Picking the right wife is of utmost importance because marriage is a life-long commitment and it requires a well thought out plan.
Appreciate the comment
DeleteNo it doesn't. She can be a virgin in the area of intercourse but is her mouth also a virgin? Does her character portrays virginity?
ReplyDeleteExactly the point I am trying to drive home
DeleteCharacter and virginity are two different things.keeping virginity or maintaining chastity does not automatically qualify one to be expert in house chose or fear of God.
ReplyDeleteThank you for understanding
DeleteVirginity is to God and not to any husband or wife, and every true child of God should strive for that no matter the circumstances be it male or female. You are not keeping your chastity because you want commendation
ReplyDeleteFrom anyone but because the word of God commands it and you want to please God with your body which is the temple of the Holy Spirit. Every one of us has to work on our attitudes and skills so we can keep our relationships and homes in tact.
And you hit the nail on the head . Appreciate the comment
Deletewoman is always beautiful
ReplyDeleteSure
DeleteThese are my summation: Virginity is a contract between an individual (Ann or woman) and God. It was God given. I'm always jnhappu when I jeat people day virginity is a thing of the past or that its irrelevant today. It show they don't know what/why virginity was designed. It honors God and vomited purity before marriage. Having said that, Virginity and great cooking skills and artistry are not certified criterias for marriage. A pure heart and mind towards the institution called marriage is very vital.
ReplyDeleteKnowing what marriage entails and willing to take descisions, make sacrifices are
Amongst many things to consider a person as a goo wife material. For a Christian, is she born again, do she love people, is she fulfilling purpose, is she ready to take on the challenges of marriage and so on. These are key areas to look at and also consider in addition to sexual issues.
ReplyDeleteThe sexual issue becomes a debatable issue because of things like past experiences/consequences as a result of having multiple sex partners, (escapades and body counts if you understand).
But we can deduce that if you have a lady who is still a virgin, chances are that she wants to honor God and respect the gift of abstinence till marriage. That's a plus. That she is a good cook means she also understands the importance of being a home maker and will work hard to make out time and sacrifice for the family when need be.
Hmm, so cooking is tantamount to home making skills for the female?
DeleteAnd then for the males??
Nope. Cooking is part of a home making process which can be deployed by male or female and it's a way of engaging both parties. To the male, its another form of sacrifice he has to make to support the wife and the family as well.
DeleteTo the male, it's another form of sacrifice ? + Okay something ticks me about that
DeleteIf you don't know how to cook, there's still time and you can learn and catch up and be better. If someone has lost her virginity, no need to worry. There's nothing wrong with you still, you can be better than someone who is a virgin and encourage others to keep to their vows and honor God. They'll Respect you more for the candid advise. Different strokes for different folks.
ReplyDeleteAnd if she still can't cook?
DeleteAnd you still emphasized on those two aspects as been the most important,🤔
Every woman can cook. Every woman can learn how to cook. Every woman should endeavour to make the effort to know how to cook. It's not compulsory, it's a necessity. If a woman doesn't or has decided not to know how to cook and someone else in the house does the cooking (househelp, relative, cook or chef), it would be counted as the woman being lazy and not considering it as a priority.
ReplyDeleteI think EVERYONE both MALE and FEMALE should learn how to cook. It's a basic survival kit for everyone. No exception!!!
DeleteA married woman should consider her roles carefully in the house and keep to getting those roles done. She can delegate but she's still the chief execution officer of the affairs of her house. It's not a good thing for a cook, chef or househelp to be the one cooking the meal of a home. The man of the house will have his food appeal from someone who is not his wife.
ReplyDeleteIt's tough though but it's a truth woman don't want to get into arguments with. And I can relate to that to some extent.
I want to get into argument.. firstly please, define the roles she is the chief executioner of?
DeleteFrom time, the role of women in the home has been known, structured and accepted. A home maker sees to the well being of her home. She's territorial. Even in Bible times, a woman sees the role as the home maker is important and non negotiable.
DeleteYou don't need to drag your feet over the matter. It's as simple as you find it in life today.
Except you don't want to be a home maker. It will be clearly understood.
Structured by who? Accepted by who? If accepted then what gave birth to the revolt popularly termed feminists?
DeleteStructured by who? Accepted by who? If accepted then what gave birth to the revolt popularly termed feminists?
DeleteBeing a virgin is definitely good but doesn't automatically bestow you with other important virtues to have as a partner. My advice, get to know what you want, get to know the person wholly, make your decision.
ReplyDeletePerfect reply
DeleteRead Pro
ReplyDeleteProverbs Chapter 14 verse 1 and tell me what it means to you as a woman. Another scenario without arguing is what "Martha, asked of her Sister when Jesus was visiting their home, summary of that; Martha was busy with housekeeping and home making when Jesus was in their home. Not their husband's.
ReplyDeleteMatters of the home are left with woman to attend to. Anything beyond their capacity, the men attend to it.
Sir the question is does the virginity of a lady makes her a wife material
DeleteTo understand Feminism and Feminist, kindly go back in time to where it first started and the movement that has been created with it. I am sure the Bible doesn't have a place for this. It's a human agenda all in a bid to create gender equality. Another topic for another day
ReplyDeleteNope
ReplyDeleteVirginity is a great appraising quality for a woman and also a blessing to the man that is opportuned to have her. Though virginity is good but does not qualifies a woman to be a real wife material. In a summary, I will just say, Being a good wife material can be judged based on Attitudes and Characters and the quality of being a virgin.
ReplyDelete