20 Important Questions to Ask Yourself and Your Partner Before You Get Married

Good Morning Dear Readers,

I am so sorry I have been off for few days. Just been a little busy.
Last night I felt love in the air. hmm, not me exactly, lol. but then I gave it a thought and these questions popped up. 20 Important Questions to Ask Yourself and Your Partner Before You Get Married. Let us look at them.

1. Is marriage really what I want? 
Don’t be bothered about other people’s expectations. Divorce procedures isn’t fun. So think long and hard before making this big commitment. 

2. Am I genuinely ready for such a commitment? 
If you have even a shred of doubt in your mind, step back and put the whole marriage idea on pause.

3. Can I do this forever?
You need to have the determination to see your marriage through to the very end and don’t think divorce is the ready-made answer when things get emotionally rough. Remember the wedding vows: ‘For better or for worse!’

4. Am I doing it for the right reason?
Are you feeling pressured and doing it to please your partner or family? Marry for the right reasons, not to satisfy a whim or anyone. Marriage is not a trend or a new fashion statement on the runway

5. Do I want to raise a family
Do you even want to have kids? Raising a family is a serious obligation and not something to be taken lightly?

6. How many kids do you want?
If yes how many? Just one or two kids? Or keep on sprouting out kids until menopause?

7. What if we can’t have children?
Discuss and outline a backup plan of what the two of you are going to do if you cannot conceive. With fertility issues on the rise, ascertain if the two of you are open to adoption, surrogacy, in vitro fertilization, and other methods to conceive and start a family.

8. Are you financially stable for marriage?
Getting married is a commitment that goes beyond sharing popcorn and watching movies at the cinemas. You can’t ask your dad to give you allowance when married. Are both of you earning enough in steady with well paying jobs to live comfortably and manage all expenses that will come?

9. Do we have any outstanding debt?
Never start your married life in debt. Be transparent with your partner about your bank balance, savings plan and especially debt.

10. Can we afford a wedding?

Planning and implementing a wedding is not cheap. You have to set aside thousands of Naira, dollars, pounds or whatever currency. Do not start your life together owing favours to others all for a lavish wedding.

11. Are both of you emotionally mature?
You may have had a lot to deal with over your single years. When married, you’re going to have to deal with double because you have a partner who is going to have their own share of problems too. Are you ready for that?

12. Are you prepared to compromise in the marriage?
Marriage is about love and compromise. This compromise should come naturally from the heart. Keep in mind, you’re going to live with each other now, and sharing a lot more than wee hours every day.

13. Can you handle all your lover’s shortcomings?
We come with our own baggage of good and bad. Good is fantastic, but can you handle the bad? For instance can you handle it if your partner snores? Or leaves the toilet un-flushed after use? You may think you can unquestionably handle these little things, but these flaws are in reality the principal reasons why marriages fail!

14. Can you withstand each other’s likes and dislikes?
Little details like likes and dislikes can make sharing together time an excruciating pain. He likes watching football, while she likes watching soap operas? Or she is a vegetarian and he is a meat man. If you want a successful marriage, you need to compromise and adjust your own likes and dislikes to match that of your partner’s.

15. What about our religious beliefs?
Before marrying, speak to your partner about the importance of faith in the household. Does it matter that you have different religious beliefs? How do you want to raise your children with two diverse religions?

16. Where do we want to live?
Determining where you want to live is a vital decision to make together. You have to know if you will be living with your better half in the family house with all the extended relatives or it will just be you two..

17. What manner of home do we desire?
Renting is good but buying a home makes more financial wisdom in the long run. Speak to your partner about what kind of home you want to settle down in.

18. Who does what in the home?
Are you going to hire help? Do you exist by the “you cook, I clean” motto? Whether you want to leave your house in disarray, or be an OCD about hygiene and the allocation of household tasks, make sure that your partner concurs with you.

19. Can you cope with your spouse relatives?
Are you spouse siblings and parents interested in the relationship? Remember when marry someone, you marry also his entire family.

20. Are you comfortable with my career choice?
The couple should be comfortable with each choice of career and not hoping she or he will change once married. For example if she might be a banker and he a doctor. Or he is a footballer and she an actress. Who is going to be the sacrificial lamb to quit the job since both works late and take care of the kids when they come?